One Year Later
It’s been a year since I removed my breast implants, and today is Memorial Day, 2016. And since Memorial Day is our national holiday to honor those who have fought in battles for our freedom and to honor those who have died, I thought to myself “How appropriate. I feel like both.” (And a BIG gracious, reverent and honorable thank you to all our men and women in uniform. Thank you for fighting for our freedom; the same freedom that allows me to talk about the good love of God so openly.)
I was born for the battle of God’s love and freedom.
I have fought in many wars against my life, and by clinging desperately to God’s love, hungrily pursuing after more of His heart, and the prayers of the saints, I have won, and I am winning.
I am winning my life by losing my life. It is oh so sweet, friends. Oh, so sweet!
I must say this again: God wasn’t going to love me any more for removing my implants NOR love me any less for leaving them in. He was inviting me to know something greater about the abundant life.
“A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.” – John 10:10, The Message
I am living life like never before, and I am dying. Parts of me continue to die. Like living according to what is seen rather than what is unseen, believing lies that I am not enough, or I am too much, devoting myself to worldly affections that have no staying power, caring more about people pleasing over the unconditional love and freedom found in The One who loves me.
His love chases out ALL my fears.
His love makes me bold.
His love empowers me to do things I NEVER thought I could do.
And His love always knows best!
Over the past year, I many people have come up to me to share their stories and share their gratitude for my courage. I have heard some amazing stories of how God used my story as one stone, dropped in an ocean of grace, that caused a ripple effect of freedom for others.
No Filter: Lessons I've Learned This Year
1. Returning to my original physical design has been AWESOME! I love being me! Totally me! Truly…God knew I didn’t need to change a thing. He made me on purpose, for a purpose, with a small chest. “Flat as a board and free as a bird” still rings true!
2. Light & Free: When I sweat and move my body, I am more light and free to be me
3. Shopping for sports bras is easier than ever, and bralettes are great for everyday wear.
4. I LOVE hugging people! Before, with implants, I could feel a subtle separation between us when I hugged people. That stinking self-conscious thing would return, causing me to wonder if they too, could feel the “thing” that stands between us.
5. I enjoy being intimate with my husband, sexually, more than ever before! When I had my implants, I may have looked the part but knew I was only playing the part. The real me was still hiding inside of me, wondering “If I didn’t look like this, would he still want me? Would I still want me?”
These subtle accusations would interrupt real intimacy with my husband. Don’t we see it, ladies? See how the enemy accuses us on all sides! “Change your body and you will be wanted.” turns into accusations of “If your body didn’t look like this you wouldn’t be wanted.” WHAT? How crazy is that!
The only way to shut the accuser’s mouth is to follow the voice of The One, who calls you by name, chooses you, delights in your beauty, and beckons you to be His and to follow Him wherever He goes. Even if He leads you to an operating room table and invites you to climb up. Might you say yes?
6. My kids have witnessed me walk a crooked road as I desire to become more upright. We have had and continue to have great conversations about the promises of God and the sacrifices that are required. Not because God is mean, but because He always has better and best. He’s worth every sacrifice!
Real men love free women. My husband is the real deal. He just keeps making room for more of my crazy. Thank you, God, for my Simon.
7. THE HUMAN BODY IS DESIGNED TO REGENERATE! The real question you may be wondering is, “Alisa, how do they look?”
Well…allow me to tell you…they look like real breasts! They no longer look like two perfectly round spheres. They look like REAL, female-form, breasts. In our current culture, we continue to deny created beauty for imitation beauty. It’s as if we humans think we can improve upon what God has already called good.
There’s a slang term called “fluffing.” This is a word used by people who have breast implants removed. It’s not a clinical term; it’s a word that people with their own explant stories use when sharing their testimony.
Although the breast tissue looks pretty smashed and deflated post-op day one, over time, the breast tissue “fluffs,” giving your breasts a healthier form. Friends…I have experienced this phenomenon to be very true. I have no science, but I don’t need any. I believe it’s because the female form is God’s business and He is a God of mercy and grace. He never leaves us smashed and deflated. He always lifts us up. And as crazy as it sounds, I believe this is true for all creation. Breast tissue too.
Beloved, if you are thinking about changing your body, save yourself a lot of money and give God your heart.
The Good Surgeon
Overall, I can say I am less conscious of my SELF, and I am more conscious of the grace, mercy, and goodness of a Father who madly loves everything about me and how He made me.
He gave me a body that didn’t require changing, with a heart that would. How easy it is for us all to get that one backward, making it about changing our outsides so we don’t have to deal with the deeper things of our hearts.
He wants our hearts. End of story. Drop the mic. Boom.
Beloved, if you are thinking about changing your body, save yourself a lot of money and give Him your heart. He’s never going to stop wanting to get that thing on his surgery table anyways. Quick, do yourself a favor and climb down off the plastic surgeon’s table and climb up on The Good Surgeon’s table. You are the crown of His creation.
His love.
Alisa
Note from Alisa: Thank you for going on this journey with me. I pray it has spoken freedom into the hidden places of your heart. The places you do not have to fear God’s light shining in and upon. To share this story with someone else, send them this link. All the parts of this story are now found as live links at the end of my initial blog post. – peace, friends.
Alisa Keeton, Founder of Revelation Wellness is an author, speaker, and freedom bringer. Alisa’s life’s purpose is to make healthy disciples who make healthy disciples. She believes in the power of the Body Of Christ and its many unique parts making up one complete whole. Like any body, it grows best under tension. We are living in the best of times for tension. Let’s train!
18 Responses
Alisa,
Thank you for sharing your journey so openly with us, your obedience and your freedom is not only inspiring but your boldness to share has given me the courage to be more open in my struggles with chasing that ideal as I move into my 50’s. God bless you my friend and thank you for paving the way for us!
~Lauren
Thank you, Lauren. Here’s to finishing strong and well!
Alisa, God has given you such a gift of communication! You always give me a word that is so rich and full. I want that freedom that you feel, to be who God purposed you to be. I want to be quite brave. I don’t have physical implants to remove, but I do have emotional implants that need surgery. Thank you for allowing God to I use you to teach us.
I love this post, there’s so much freedom. It is making me stare one of my fears right in the face. It feels good but also feels gut-wrenching. I’m not even 30 yet and I have very large breasts that already sag. They are so heavy. Both from genetics, but also from an extra 100+ pounds I’ve put on over the years. Also from currently breastfeeding. I wonder all the time what is going to happen to my breasts now that I’m beginning to lose weight. I can only dream of working out freely and lightly, having an easy time getting bras, close hugs… I’m trying not to be fearful here, I’m just getting real and raw. I am choosing to believe that my form truly is God’s business and that He is a God of mercy and grace. I am going to believe that He will see me through these changes to my body and care for all these details. If He formed me in the womb 29 years ago, why would He stop forming me today? I have daydreamed about breast reduction and a lift so much and have found myself planning on one when I am older after my weight loss. But I’m going to leave those plans with God and trade mine for His. I’m going to wait and see what His mercy and grace looks like for every part of my body. Here’s my heart, Lord.
AMEN Rachel! God may or may not lead you to a surgery table to “lighten” your load. His will be done! I bless God for giving us doctors who can perform surgeries to RESTORE what the enemy has stolen. But ENHANCING what God has already called beuatiful…that’s not love. But I do know this…He would never put you into financial debt or strain for a restorative surgery to take place. If he wants that for you, I truly believe it will fall from heaven as a gift from the FAther of Lights…all good gifts come from Him (James 1:17). This was His for me! You are not your body. He gives us the grace, the strength in our weaknesses (saggy breasts and even an achy back, or negative body image talk) to stay free and loved. All power rests in us and upon us. IN the name of Jesus, our bodies must get in line and submit. Life is too big, wonderful and beautiful to sit around and worry about what we see or feel. His grace is sufficient for us in all things. – peace to you!
This is crazy timing and could ONLY be from God. Mostly to soothe my soul, not really prevent me from doing anything because the funds are locked in month-to-month and I don’t see that changing any time soon. That being said, I’m 42 and unmarried, and although I’ve been in good shape my whole life, the past five years I stopped working out due to some health issues. Enter 2016 and I started working out again, mainly running but in the last two months I’ve started lifting. I’ve always been average in every way, including my bra size: 32B. (Or maybe that isn’t average?! :O). In any case, I’ve noticed my chest getting slightly smaller and just this past week had this thought… ‘maybe I should work hard at squirrelling away my money and consider breast implants. Nothing huge… just one cup size’. Because you know… I think about this hope deferred of being married some day and not wanting my chest to be a disappointment to my husband. (Insert eye roll. I know, I know. But we are all our worst enemies and believe those lies, right?). Not that I really could get implants right now. Like I said, my budget is locked in with no room for something of that nature. (In many ways a blessing in disguise, to be honest.) Not to mention I always judged women who had breast implants for thinking that they were superficial and not accepting of their own bodies. And yet, here I was contemplating for a few days this past week how I might be able to afford this very thing I looked down on. Needless to say, God has humbled me through your post with regard to my judgmental spirit toward women who get implants, not to mention my ingratitude toward Him for the body He has given me. It is a constant battle to not feel ashamed of my body for the countless ways I feel like it doesn’t measure up to culture’s view of beauty. And yet, this is the body that God created for ME, and in HIS image no less. Oh so humbling to realize that to despise that is to despise the very good work of God. Thankful for grace upon grace. And for your courage to share your story and for God’s gift of grace to you to not only accept, but love the body He’s given you. xoxo
You’re my favorite Alisa! I love your authenticity & freedom & how you wait for God. You’re an inspiration. When you periscope, it’s always an apt Word in due season too. Thanks for leading with your heart. Grace to you~Sharon
LOVE
Oh the freedom!! So, so good!!
Preacher girl PREACH! You have such a message for freedom and I feel like this is only the beginning…The whole world needs to hear what you have to say. Keep preaching Alisa. Territory is expanding for the glory of His name.
Dear Alisa,
I just Came across this post. I have had implants for 12 years and I regret getting them 1 year after I got them. I have capsular contracture and pain and I also can’t do certain exercises. I had a consultation last week to get them removed. I am just praying my insurance covers it. But I am grateful for your post.
just finished this beautiful blog. thank you so much for sharing!! can’t wait to finish the podcast also!
We are so glad this blessed you, Jessica!
I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you for having the courage to follow the Lord’s leading in your life and sharing your journey so transparently. I followed that same lead when I cancelled a surgery I’d scheduled for implants a handful of years ago. I couldn’t have been happier with my decision and felt the same freedom and joy you described, but just recently fell back into the lie that I was depriving my husband of something valuable and that it would be so much easier to fit into clothing – and this culture – if I just had a fuller chest. While wrestling through these thoughts, I googled “Christian breast implants” to try to find some truth and boy did I find it in your blog. It imparted the very truth I was thirsty for and exposed the lies I’d come into agreement with. Thank you so very much. Praying your ministry continues to reach far and wide.
Hey Kara! Thank you for sharing your story! We are sooooo glad you found us and that this blog series blessed you. We encourage you to stick around and check out RWTV and other resources! We are a ministry committed to sharing the gospel through fitness and setting people free!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It has touched my heart so deeply. I have always been *flat and free*, but after a difficult situation in my marriage I began to believe the lies that I would be more free and beautiful, confident and happy if I were to have implants.for over a year I have been silently contemplating and dreaming about how I would look and how satisfied me and my husband would both feel if I made that change. I have not always felt this way about myself and I have also silently longed for the days where I once felt free and beautiful in my own flat chested body. I have taken my thoughts and feelings to the Lord many times and I believe He has used your blog today to answer my prayers, speak life and identify back into me, and remind me what beauty is. After reading your blog I immediately went to the Lord in tears, asking for Him to forgive me for seeking pleasure and peace in the things of this world, and to help me to accept and live in the love that both God has for me, as well as the love my husband has for me. I want all of my “members” to be used as instruments of righteousness…even my flat chest that God designed. thank you for the reminder and for your beautiful story.
Thank you so much for sharing, Em! I’m so glad this post spoke to your heart at the right time!
I’m about to get this surgery in a few weeks and reading this has helped so much. Still a little nervous and thank you for your candid testimony. I know the Holy Spirit will be holding my hand ❤️I appreciate any prayers and God bless you and your mission !