Fair warning, the following is an honest and raw new chapter to Jesus being the hero of my story.
Nine months ago I heard the Lord calling me into my season of greater. I mistakingly was quick to order my party dress and dancing shoes, when in fact on most days I have found myself wearing sackcloth or mourning garments. I failed to remember that becoming acquainted with the sufferings of Christ is part of the deal when you ask for more.
A little background on me: I was raised by two broken parents who did their very best. Satan was at work, all the days of my life, trying to convince me to buy the lie that I am not seen, heard, valued or loved. Because if I were, then ______ (insert name) would not be doing this or they would be doing that. My needs would be getting me if I was loved better by _____ (insert name.)
The enemy’s early assignment for me was to separate me from the herd (aka, family and friends) and get me to rebel; figuring out life on my own because nobody is trustworthy. If the ones who said they loved me, who know better but never did, hurt me, how much easier will it be for those who don’t know better and say they love me to hurt me? I had made up my mind at an early age I would figure out love for myself.
Satan turned me into a really good shoulder. I know how to should on people like nobody else. And shoulders tend to create the reality they fear the most. For me, the fear of not being loved made it hard to love me though all I ever wanted was love. I lived inside my fortress of fear.
On Christmas night, I received the call from my father that my mother was in the hospital. I was shocked and yet not surprised. The night before, on Christmas Eve, I was very aware of just how much pain she was experiencing. If it’s possible to measure someone’s pain by the amount of heat their presence puts off, then sitting next to my mom felt like sitting next to an iron furnace. Her pain was palpable. My mom, Yvonne (Bonnie to her family) has never been one to complain. At all cost, she sucks it up and refuses to be a victim. Dealing with and managing her pain, whether it be physical, mental or emotional, is her learned way. At sixty-seven years of age, she is a maestro at managing her pain.
Little did I know that my mom was in so much pain she could barely walk. Every step she took felt like somebody was cutting her legs with a knife. She finally couldn’t take it anymore. On Christmas day, she waved her white flag and surrendered. She agreed to go to the hospital in hopes to get something to help her manage the pain.
“They want to keep your mom for the night to run some tests. They are concerned about the amount of fluid she is retaining,” said my father.
Against my mom’s wishes to be on her way with a pain management plan, the doctors were refusing to let her go. Her blood pressure was 220/160. (As I have always said, real health is a measurement of what’s going on, on the inside. Having high blood pressure is a good indicator that something is not right. Measuring the outside of our bodies can never be a trusted health barometer for real wellness and doing so never leads to freedom.)
“Mrs. Amador. If you go home tonight, with that blood pressure, you could die.”
Turns out that the fear of God (the author of life and death) is still the beginning of wisdom and knowledge. Thank God for the wisdom of God, entrusted to these doctors that forced my mom to refuse to flee.
Over the next few days, a battery of tests was run. My mother became a human pin cushion while over 40 pounds of fluid was released from her body. In the midst of her pain and our confusion as to what was going on, the Lord began to move. For years, friends, I have prayed for the Lord to do a resurrecting work in our family. To say my family life with my parents has been a dry, wasteland, is an understatement. What satan can divide he can dominate. While we were all busy, running from one another, managing our pain, satan was taking over more and more ground. But God…
There is something about seeing a loved one in a hospital gown, hooked to tubes that awakens your heart to love. I thought this to be true in theory, but now it was real. This sickness, whatever is was, was threatening to steal, kill and destroy my mom. I didn’t want to lose my mama. No matter how busted up she is, she is my mama. God has softened my heart over the years so he could tell me, if it were not for her pain, I would not be the woman I am today, nor would this ministry even exist. Revelation Wellness® was birthed from my broken heart—a heart that wanted to believe that pain management is not what Jesus came to give me. I knew that Jesus was offering me more. Revelation Wellness was birthed from my broken and desperate search to find the more! If it weren’t for my awareness of my mom’s less than places (the places I should on her), I might not have been invited by God to peek into and participate in His more.
Waiting for a diagnosis.
On December 28th, my daughter Sophia’s birthday, we got the diagnosis call. The reports were in…my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer.
Enter the sound of my heart crashing into a million pieces.
Cancer? Cancer was not even up for consideration as to why my mom might be in the hospital. Heart disease, diabetes, things of this nature that seem to run in our family, sure. But cancer? Cancer wasn’t even on the table. But now, there it was, stinking up the entire room.
As I listened to my father on the phone, I had a firefighters urge to get to her. I asked my daughter if she was okay with me leaving her on her birthday to go to her Nana’s hospital bedside. With a heavy heart, she agreed. So I went, fast.
As I turned the corner into my mom’s hospital room, we locked eyes, and our faces fell. We looked at each other as if we were two people who had not seen each others in years. Suddenly I saw her, and she could see me. Sin has a crafty way of keeping us from seeing another person’s sincere heart and real beauty. I fell into her hospital bed, and for the first time since I was a little girl, I curled up on her, and I wept. Healing was here. We wept with wordless groans that only the Holy Spirit understood, and I believe He immediately got to work sending up prayers on our behalf. The fallow ground of our hearts, the places where the enemy did his best to keep arid and dry for over 32 years, didn’t stand a chance. The flood gates opened with the sowing of our tears.
Satan, once again, you lose. What you meant for destruction, God is using for good.
Our surprise professional photo shoot Christmas present had to be rescheduled due to mom’s hospital time. It was more important than ever to capture my mother’s beauty prior to the official start of her battle with cancer.
As this photo was being taken my father began to whisper “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” We all knew we were standing on holy ground.
Her last photo with her “old” hair. It was already beginning to fall out. She had told me “The next time you see me, I will probably look like dad.”
She is quite brave.
The last six weeks of my life have been filled with lots of tears and one healing miracle after another. This healing that is coming through suffering has been everything that I have prayed for, minus the suffering part. Some days when I prayed for restoration in my family, I didn’t even believe what I was praying. I just knew my Father says to me that nothing is off limits when I ask. Out of wild obedience and radical faith, I kept asking.
You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.- John 14:14
As of now, my mom is still diagnosed with cancer, but the healing I have seen in our relationship, in my parents relationship, and in our hearts has been a miracle. So there’s that. And nobody can take that away from me. I am sure God has “more” healing for us to experience in this. He will not hold back on me.
This is my season of greater.
So, Friends, I share this story with you for the following reasons:
- This is really going on in my life, and being honest and real with you is my sure-footed foundation from which I teach or preach. To stand anywhere else feels fake.
- When asking my mom if she minded me sharing our story, she said “Absolutely! I want all the prayers I can get”. So please, pray for Yvonne, or Bonnie to you, my family in Christ. She is quite brave.
- If you want more of God, you must be willing to take the good with the bad. Even the bad will end up in good. So what do we have to lose? Nothing. Satan, on the other hand, stands to lose everything.
But mostly, MOSTLY, I write this to you to assure you that God does his best, BEST healing work through suffering and pain. I hate it. I don’t like it. I wish there were another way.
He is not the author of pain and pain does not exist in His Kingdom. He allows it to come so He can be magnified, glorified and pointed to when it goes!
I wish it weren’t so, but the pain is not going anywhere. AND pain will not get the final say. I believe that my mom is going to be healed. I want it to be on this side of the Kingdom. Why else would God ask us to pray for: “Your Kingdom come, your will be done. On earth as it is in heaven.”? Why else would he commission us with power over sickness and disease? If we don’t use it, we will lose it. But not on my watch. I shall be shameless about healing.
“These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” Mark 16:17-18
I am going to wield my authority over sickness even if it costs me my dignity. Judge if you must.
This is how God is bringing His heaven into my earth. Stand back and let my King come through.
Welcome to my season of greater. Where love is greater than fear.
His love.
Alisa
I would love to hear about your seasons of greater, below.
57 Responses
You and your family are in my daily prayers. Thank you for being vulnerable, sharing your heart. His glory shines through your healing! Much love.
Alisa, you are so brave! Thank God for your bravery and loss of self to die to Christ is gain! So as you die may your mom live on in Christs name! I work with cancer patients everyday and I believe in the power of miracles too! You are loved by an everlasting love! Praying that love increases a million times over as he makes your heart his home. Thank you for sharing your story for he is overcome by the words of our testimony and the blood of the Lamb. So in Jesus name, together let us declare ultimate healing power over your mother. His stripes bled for you and for her. He is so good! Thank you Father for your healing power of relationship and body! Thank you for your perfection and wholeness that you desire to rain down on us! We ask these mighty miracles in your name Jesus. Amen.
Praying for you all!
Alisa…… through tears of joy and heartbreak, gratitude and grace… I read your Story and thank you for your vulnerability and allowing God to re-affirm His love to you and me and so many others whom I know you will touch through your openness !! I, too, am leaving behind over two decades of family hurt and emotional abuse and walking into a season of Grace and Healing and the rebirth of those relationships!! We stand together hand in hand with our precious Saviour and Friend… and we continue our journey TOGETHER!! Thank you for sharing! Thank you for persevering!! Thanks for being a light in the darkness!! Continued Blessings!! Lori
Greater… Patience, love, compassion these are all things the Lord is allowing me to grown in these days. In our family we never talked about much. If we didn’t acknowledge it, it didn’t happen. My mama too was/is a master at never complaining or making much of her discomfort. So much so that over the years she doesn’t really even voice an opinion. My heart breaks. I am so grateful that the Lord has allowed my relationship with her to be an example of something different. I FEEL ! I have a voice and am watching my mom begin to open up. We talk about stuff in our home. We don’t participate in shame or condemnation. We FEEL !!!! Healing is happening. I really don’t recall much cuddling with my mom, even as a kid – but now physical touch is a constant – and healing.
With mom’s memory loss, there is much practice in patience and the Lords grace has been so abundant just giving me space to be with her, and confidence that she is not unable to function cognitively. God is good.
I do admit this place with my mama is a sweet and precious one, it has not yet given me a place to fully mourn. But I know it’s coming. The care taker in me has taken over because that is where the Lord wants me for now. But in time I will be mourning right along side my mom. I know in the coming days when i see my dad’s chair, his TV, his coats and hats – I will mourn. But by God’s grace i know i will not stay there. There will be celebration and laughter and true to Drennan form, a little inappropriate humor. There is something i have missed and lost about being home over the last several years that I know the Lord is going to restore. I am excited and afraid of feeling that comfort again. Ya know, that one place that you feel at peace and well cared for. There will be restoration, closure and new beginnings. Our family still has a long road ahead but i am fully confident that there was no mistake that my parents were here, allowing time for my mom to process. No mistake we are able to have service in Ohio, allowing us time to celebrate his life. And no mistake that we still have much yet to get through (they have A LOT of stuff) which will bring our family closer than ever.
He is Lord of all things and knows everything thing I’ll need to represent Him well through each step; which is really all i’ve asked during this time is that I am walking in His will.
thank yo for this ministry. there is now way I could be handling this as I am if it were not for the lessons I’ve learned and the truth in practice that is represented here. Love.
I can feel your pain Alisa. My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer in July of 2014. She lost her battle this past June. The time went by so quickly. But I know she is now no longer in pain.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Hi Alisa
What an amazing tribute to Our God! He is worthy to be praised! I am praying for Ms. Bonnie. Thank you for your openness and honesty. It did my heart good this morning. I have recently lost my mom and it aches- but the Lord chose to heal her-not the way I would have BUT His plan is greater. Have a blessed day.
* I would be so honored if I could send your mom a “battle” card. If you would like that please email me her address. thank you
My mother in law was also just dx with cancer. Your msg is God’s wonderful timing. I will be praying for your precious Mamma.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, Alisa.
Prayers are pouring out to you and your family but especially your sweet mama. God I pray for healing over Yvvone (my grandma’s name, which is so dear to my heart & now in heaven — lived to be 96!!) i pray that you would touch her heart, Lord, you would show her how beautiful and majestic you’re love is. I pray that this wouldn’t hold her down, but it will make her stronger! I ask God for Peace, peace in her heart Lord! I love you’re vulnerability Alisa.
Suffering is sucky. And to say I am going through suffering in this season in my life is true but not like you are. Right now I don’t feel ready to share, but prayers would be acceptable. Prayers that my moms heart would soften towards the Lord and that she would see the light!
Love you ever so much Alisa,
Nichole
Prayers for Ms. Bonnie and your family! May His kingdom come here on earth as it is in heaven for her life. Yes and amen to healing in her body and in your family relations. Thanks for sharing your heart, wide and open. We love you for it! ❤️ Oh, and gorgeous pics!
Thank you for sharing this. I totally understand your emotions. I was in the hospital room with my Mom when she accepted Jesus. It brought that peace that passes all understanding not only for her but for me as well. Your story is Romans 8:28, you are called according to His purpose for sure. I’ve lost 10 relatives in the last 6 years. I’ve seen the Lord’s hand in all of them. praying for your Mom, you and your family in Indiana.
thank you for sharing and being completely open and raw. many prayers for you and your family.
Thank you for sharing and giving us the opportunity to pray! He does work in such miraculous ways! So good, we can’t even imagine it! Praying for healing and peace and continued showering down and filling of love. Many drumsticks pounding it out for you! ❤️
I will be praying for Yvonne and all your family everyday. This is just what I have needed. The Lord is greater even than cancer. May you and your family continue to grow closer to God.
Thank you, Alisa for sharing this. You, yourself, are quite brave as well! I will be praying for you and your mama Bonnie. I know Jesus has already been glorified in this story and He will continue to use it mightily! Blessings and love to you as you walk this dark road with your family, trusting God for MORE. Love you, girl.
Beautiful… Thank you for sharing your pain and your triumph. I will be praying for your Bonnie.
Alisa once again your eloquent words blow me away. I will be praying for your family! Your faith and trust in the Lord truly inspires. Thank you for being YOU – real and authentic. HUGS
Alisa out are an inspiration to all. I admire you in so many ways. What a beautiful story I share the same my. Mom many year ago was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and we saw the beauty of our heavenly father’s work in our family restoring the relationship between us . God was at work in many ways in my life and my family’s
You’re a beautiful lady an amazing inspiration to everyone life you touch.
My daughter took your instructor class and words cannot describe how grateful we are for this awesome program reaching out to woman everywhere
God is so proud of you and loves you so much
Keep the faith Bless you
We will continue to pray for your mom there is power in prayer
Wow. Prayers for Bonnie, my sister in Christ, and for your whole family. I guess I’m in a season of greater as well because suffering is here, yet, so are blessings. Like you, I was raised by broken parents who did their best but left me with an empty heart. Because of this, My Jesus has given me a mother figure and a father figure to “supplement” I guess you could say. I call them my 2nd parents. My 2nd Dad is dying. Today. As I speak. Cancer. Hospice. Prostate (which could have been CAUGHT and treated – TELL ALL THE MEN YOU LOVE TO GET CHECKED!). I have already said my goodbyes and now we are waiting for the phone call. Like you, I have groaned in pain unimaginable noises that I know only My Jesus understood. I believe Jesus can heal him. Even this far in the game. I believe in His Power, but also in His Will. I accept His Plan – but I don’t have to like it. Please pray for my 2nd Daddy, Brent? He’s the world to me.
Now for the Joy! At church this past Sunday, my husband decided he was ready to be baptized. The unspeakable joy I feel is beyond my wildest imagination. He will be baptized on Sunday, March 6th and my entire family is coming to support him. I – most definitely – will be a crying fool praising the Name of God with everything I have! And PROUDLY making a fool of myself, I’m sure.
So we cry the tears, we feel the pain – and know that on the other side of the pain – blessings abound. ALL
THINGS for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose! AMEN and AMEN!
His Love, Never QUITS!
Love and hugs from Atlanta 🙂
Wow! I have a hard time reading things online, in fact I usually just skim through them but THIS had my full attention! God is at work and I can’t wait to see what He has in store! I am not a fan of pain and suffering, I often say I am “allergic” to them, but I have read and studied Romans 8!enough to know God is greater! I am thankful that someone recommended I watch one of your Scopes a few months back! Praying for Mrs Yvonne and for you as well, God’s kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven, for His is the power and the glory forever!
I prayed this morning for your mama. For you and your family. Tears running down my face. I love you Alisa! Your heart, ability to be open and love as Jesus does. Our family will keep praying for healing and restoration.
Absolutely beautiful, Alisa! Thank you for sharing this part of your story – ow His story is being lived out in your life. ~ Your brother in Christ, Dale
Oh this is so beautiful, the words a powerful expression of the best kind of hope we have in Him. Thank you for sharing your season of greater with such brave humility. Chains broken, captives set free, His love restoring and redeeming all of it. New hoping arising! I see it, I know more of it because of these words. Love you!!
I’m in tears over here. The picture with you and your parents “standing on Holy ground” … that was so moving. I, too, am learning the best healing work comes through suffering and pain. How else would we learn God was faithful, loving, healing, etc., if He didn’t prove to us that He is during those difficult seasons. It’s like He says, “I am faithful. I am the Healer. I love you. Let me show you.” I’m praying for Bonnie. I’m sooo thankful the Lord has already began a miraculous healing work in the hearts of your family. That’s what I call a “treasure hidden in darkness (Isaiah 45:3 NLT)”. Love and hugs to you.
Wow. Just wow. Thank you for sharing. I will be praying for Bonnie…. So much hope in seeing your family healing 🙂
Lost a sister who loved The Lord almost 37 years ago to ovarian cancer…….she was 23 & I was 21. I’m convinced that God Does His best work when things don’t make sense, where suffering abounds…..it was after that experience looking death in the eye that Jesus found me….where absolute agony and suffering collide w Gods power is where Gods best is on display… Look at the cross..look at Jesus! “Oh death where is thy victory, oh death where is thy sting! Have hope…..you are in a previous season of life!
Wow… just, “wow”… Thank you so much for sharing what’s going on in your life and the lives of your family. Your honesty and transparency are humbling and God-honoring. I shed tears for your pain and heartbreak, but feel your trust and joy in God’s promises to us!
My mother passed away last August (cancer). In her case there were no treatment options and we were blessed with in-home hospice care… (hospice workers are angels on earth). 2 1/2 months later my younger sister, Lisa, died unexpectedly of a heart attack. To say I’ve been leaning on the promises of God, and His “greater”, would be an understatement…
I don’t know why our family lost 2 members in such a short span, but I do know that Satan tried (and succeeded for awhile) to drive deep wedges between my siblings and me… (divide and conquer)… But God can (and does) take the bad, and the pain, and the hurt, and the loss and uses it all for His good, in His perfect plan, and in His perfect timing!
I’m still processing through my grief and with that comes (at times) uncertainty and confusion, but in humble prayer and thanksgiving, peace is found and hope is restored.
Thank you for sharing, Alisa… I will be praying for Yvonne and your entire family ~ God’s magnificent blessings to you all!
Steve,
Oh my word. What a season of greater for you. And yet I can hear the kindness in your words. Only God can keep a heart soft during hard times. Thank you for sharing. And I truly am sorry for your loss, and I am grateful for all that has been gained. – peace, brother.
Wow, this on the heels of being in my Bible Study as we discuss suffering and “why” and “how” to live it. I have always thought “why not suffer?” I mean look at what Christ/God suffered for us! Mind you I did not say that I wish we didn’t suffer. Two years ago I watched my Dad battle lung cancer, and suffer he did, but he did it so well! He was not a complainer, he shined when family was around, he lived well to show Jesus to all! His last few days were some of the hardest and sweetest I have ever had. There is a lot of back story to my crazy wonderful family… but being together during that time, talking to Dad, each other, praying, singing all to the Lord’s glory. My brother is not a Christ follower, but a dabbler, and I can only think that the seeds planted in that suffering will grow! My prayer is to not waste the gift(s) that I learned, and continue to learn. Peace
My “season of greater” began when my 25 yr. old daughter, Erin was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. That was when my world stopped and I hung on to the hope of God’s healing believing that He would never allow us to suffer the outcome that was given – 9months. My faith and my belief of who God was became exposed and it was not pretty. I “expected” God to grant my wishes, make my life easy and keep me from suffering or hurting. I remember sitting at my daughters bedside crying out “God where are you?” I clearly heard “I am here”, but it wasn’t enough, I wanted His healing…now! I realized that I was trying to manipulate God in various ways and I had to ask His forgiveness. It was then that I was able to see that He had been healing Erin every day in different ways. Her faith and relationship with Father God was strenghtened giving her the ability to face each new turn on her journey with amazing peace and a smile on her face that ministered to all who walked with her. I almost missed seeing God’s gift. I knew that no matter what the outcome God was still God and He was in control and will do what is best for my daughter. I still believe that today 8yrs. after He took Erin home even though in the early days after her passing I had a battle choosing Father God’s outstretched arms or the darkness that called my name. So you see my season of greater began with a crisis that started the process of peeling back my layers revealing lies that I had believed about myself and God. He filled me with His truths about who He is and who I am and who He created me to be. Even in grief I have peace because I now have an intimate personal relationship with my heavenly Father. I have become more me than I have ever been and I know God will continue His good work in me peeling back the layers until He takes me home!
His peace is truly the peace that passes all understanding.
Wow, Wendy. Thank you. Thank you for telling my your tale of glory. It bolsters my hope. You are a good good mama. You survived the biggest heart surgery a mother could ever face. You are quite brave.
Hallelujah and Amen. I am locking arms with you, Sister, and standing in agreement with you for healing in abundance (along with all your heart’s desires) to come down from the heavenly lights and touch your mom and entire family unit bringing all the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control that surpasses anything we can contain. Johovah Rapha You reign.
Dear Alisa, Bonnie and family,
My heart is both crying and smiling for all of you for I know first hand the pain you all are experiencing. Having gone through cancer twice now and seeing my sister go through her battle our family has experienced the awful pain with us. But GOD, PRAYER, FAITH and LOVE has led us through the most darkest days and He will see you through as well and for that I smile with you.
You are all in my prayers. I’m not sure where you live but check with your doctor office for the cancer center near you. I utilized the services at Santa Barbara and Ventura Cancer centers, absolutely wonderful. They have painting classes, nutrition classes, counseling (for family members too), exercise, give wigs… and help get you through and back on your feet.
Blessings, hugs, smiles and love to all of you. GOD is bigger than ‘c’!
Alisa, thank you for sharing and being honest. My mom crawled in my bed with me and we wept healing hurts, pains and were really able to be honest with each other about the love we have for each other and no matter what had transpired over the years God washed it away, it gave us a chance to begin our new life as mother and daughter respecting each other as adult women and moving forward.
Bonnie, you are BRAVE and continue to fight with all your strength knowing GOD is on your side and YOU ROCK!!!
With love, Irene
Amen. Thank you, friend. We live in Arizona and have found some pretty great resources. Thank you. Keep praying!
Amen! Amen! Amen!
Praise God for what He has done!!!! HE will continue to do greater things in your life! I decree & declare healing over sister Yvonne, I declare Psalm 103 over her for God is her sure foundation, God is her peace & God is her healer!!! In Jesus’ Name AMEN!!!
Alisa,
This is beautiful!! Thanks so much for your vulnerability and sharing your story. It matters. Hugs and Prayers, Ashleigh
Oh Alisa, thank you for once again being honest and raw and choosing to give glory to our Creator in all things. I have been following you for a while and am always inspired by your boldness and humility. I have often thought of telling you of a ministry that has changed our lives because your message resonates deeply with what they teach. Maybe now is the time. My husband and I went to For My Life (by Be In Health Ministries) in November and it changed us forever. They teach the spiritual roots of physical diseases as shown in the Bible. When the spirit is reunited with our Father, ourself, and others, the body can’t help but heal. We are seeing some incredible things – things deemed “incurable” by doctors are healing and I am seeing this is God’s plan all along.
Praying for you and your family and for continued healing in all areas!
Alisa,
I know there are many facing painful places and things. I believe God has you in His arms, more now than ever. May blessings of joy and peace flow.
I know about blessings in pain God has given me many even when I felt so far away from Him. God is good all the time.
Prayers and blessings.
Thank you for sharing your heart, Alisa. Your authenticity is absolutely beautiful and I will certainly be lifting you, your family and Bonnie up in prayer. I am praising our Father for the healing he has already began pouring out on your family.
As for my season of greater…let’s just say I can relate to putting the party shoes away and putting on the sackcloth. As the Lord leads me deeper in this season, I holdfast to Hosea. The Lord has truly become the Lion of the tribe of Judah to me. Hosea 5:14 says “For I will be like a lion to Ephraim, and like a young lion to the house of Judah. I, even I, will tear and go away; I will carry off and no one shall rescue.” My eyes are being opened to the ravaging nature of a lion and the deep tears He can create through ministry and trials in my marriage. Despite the pain of this season, I am leaning into it. Catching a deeper glimpse of who Jesus is through suffering and depending completely on the Spirit to move forward in love and not allow fear to have a foothold. I desire to become more like Him, not settle into the lie of hopelessness. Therefore, by God’s grace, I move forward by clinging to Hosea 6:1 “Come let us return to the Lord; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.” I am claiming His purpose for tearing was to create deeper healing. He is the God of restoration. He will do it. I look forward with eager anticipation to all He will do, all the while embracing this suffering – knowing that I am blessed to have been given the privilege to identify with Jesus in this way.
Alisa, thank you for sharing your heart. I am so excited to hear how Jesus is opened up the floodgate for restoration and renewed relationship with your Mom. We are so hard on our own family (parents) at times and this is what it is all about… Praise God. I will be praying for Bonnie, your Dad, you and the rest of your family.
Love>fear
Love you…
Standing in agreement…Cancer I command you to leave Yvonnes body, In the mighty name of Jesus!
Your post this morning spoke straight to my heart & soul. Tears came and I can not get it out of my head. My heart aches for you, but at the same time sings, for God has put such a spirit of joy, hope, peace, and patience and trust in you. I’ve got to get real with God about this—I have much healing to pursue with my family. I’ve been an ‘I wisher’ (much like a ‘shoulder’) for way too long. I am afraid of that season of greater, BUT GOD! Love is greater than this fear. May my heart soften and may my ears be sharpened to His words. I will TRUST in you Lord! Thank you, sweet sister, for your testimony.
I will pray for you and your mama. I went through much of what you have shared with my father.
There was a selfishness in my heart when I asked for God to move in my heart. I actually remember writing in my journal , “Lord I want to be close to you, I want to be the “Alisa Keeton” in my little world here. But please Lord I do not want to watch anyone I love go through any suffering, just bless me to have a ministry through You, Lord. But I do not want to really hurt, or get embarrassed in any way. ” As I continued to pray for a Real relationship with the Lord.. I was walking forward, but very cautiously . Saying “Lord I am doing it, I am choosing You..” When I told my mom my thoughts on being scared to ask to live through Him and being scared of what I might go through, she said to me “God is not a god of punishment, He is not some mean guy , sitting on his thrown saying .. ‘You will suffer because you chose me.’ You go through these trials on earth so you can see Him, so you know Him, so you can experience my Amazing love, My amazing grace, God loves you.” This had been a struggle to be so open and raw with my faith, even in my normal circle. It is still a daily prayer. I only know the name Alisa Keeton because of Gods ministry, because what God is doing in His ministry. I have only been around it for really 30 days because of the cleanhearting challenge . Personally, the only thing I had thought was how does she stay so fresh everyday, and do so much, and I believe it is because you stay so raw and open to everyone. You obey what God is telling you to do. Your love comes through on the Wednesday phone calls, your love shows through the representatives that God has blessed you with, and God is always showing bright even through this time in your life. I will be praying for you to continue to be a shining light, Praying for your moms healing, praying for your kids and hubby to continue to be the supportive family you need at this time. I just realized that This had all started around Christmas, around Christmas I was on a down hill path of destruction, I believe it would had torn my family apart, and yet, God was using this ministry to say, I am here. You could had stopped so many times, because life was hard, but you didn’t , you stayed open and raw. What a witness you are in your faith for all to see. Love you
You have my prayers Alisa!
Thanks for sharing your story and your life and your struggles and your victories with us, Alisa. You and your bonny Bonnie are both quite brave! Lifting you up!
Thank you Alisa!
Your story is so very similar to my own. I also come from a broken family made up of broken people (aren’t we all, really?). My heart grew cold towards my family at a young age, and thankfully, I was adopted into our Heavenly Fathers family as a teenager. I also have been praying for God to bring Salvation to my family. I have prayed that God will bring them to a place where they need Him the most. I realize praying that is a bit ‘dangerous’, but I am so encouraged by your story! Thank you for being vulnerable and honest. Please pray for my Mom and Dad too, as I will continue to pray for your family <3
Dear one, I know exactly of what you speak. If it weren’t for my husband nearly dying he would not have found true life. No pain, no gain, right?
This could be my story! My mom was healed from cancer over 10 years ago, but now, at the age of 79, she is staying with me, and as I was tucking her in (the healing is still pouring over our relationship), she said, “I know it probably isn’t right in God’s eyes, but I really want this to be over!” With tears in our eyes, we both agreed that either way, she would be getting better.
In some ways, Alisa, we are opposites, I was the undisciplined rebel, who grew up in a stringent, regimented home. Instead of turning towards fitness, I turned the opposite way until I reached 265 lbs at 5’4″! I am now 203 lbs (not that it matters), but I was stuck, because I had been down to 145 for about twenty minutes! LOL
Before that, I was a fitness nut, but when I finally, fully rebelled, food was my guilty pleasure, fitness was the stealer of my joy! (Don’t we just love Satan’s lies? Sickens me to this day when I think of his nasty finger in my face) So thankful for God’s loving, Holy finger on my heart to correct me!
Thank you so much for the Cleanhearting Challenge, your ministry is one more step in my journey with God to freedom. I have been seeking hard after Him for my entire life, and now at 45 (your age), He shows up with THIS?!? He’s amazing, and I have no words to describe Him!
God blessed you richly with so many gifts, and I pray in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior for your mother to be healed to the glory of God and God alone!
#knowyou #don’tknowyou
Looking Forward to Meeting You and Dancing Like Fools for Eternity,
“That Girl” Cynthia
Thanks for sharing your story. Sometimes I think we forget how God works in all things both big and small. Praying that your Mom gets better and that your family continues to grow in God’s love.
When my best friend’s mother’s diagnosis was cancer, she asked God to give her a specific verse to pray over her mom. He is faithful and gave her Psalm 118:17:
“______ [name of mom]____ shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.”
Praying for you all through this time of growth & suffering…God will receive all the glory.
In Christ’s love,
I thank you for sharing your story. It resonates with my heart. A year ago last Christmas we also went through these same steps. 3 days before Christmas my mom, whom I’m very close to, hadn’t been feeling good for a couple of months. Had a doctors appointment because she was having a hard time breathing and walking. They sent her to the ER.
My husband and I went to the hospital right after work not thinking it was too serious, pneumonia or something like that. When I walked into the ER my mother blurted out its cancer! I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks. Not realizing the extent of this diagnosis,she also had fluid around her heart which was the doctors first concern.
We tried to progress this. My mother was so full of life. She was very active still, she working, serving at church, quilting with friends, she just was a person who people loved being around!
When we realized that she is not going to get better she is too sick, I remember one day as I was journaling and praying to God, you Father love her more than anyone, You know what is best, so with that being said Your will be done. She went home to be with Jesus on February 6th 2015. Just 6 or so weeks after we got the news. One of the hardest things I’ve had to do, but God gives you what you need when He knows you need it. My daughter was expecting a girl in June and named her after her, Ivy Patricia ( my mothers name was Patricia)
Beautiful! I lost my mother in 2003 in a fatal car accident a few miles from my house. It was my sons birthday. She would set in our recliner when she came to visit and I would crawl into her lap and talk to her until the wee hours of morning. I felt like I always had to fight for her love and affection. She was a broken woman. I will never know how broken she was until after her death. She would not speak of anything in her past. I would catch her crying, She would get so depressed and go into her room medicated and fall asleep. We would not see her for days. I didn’t know how to help her. I did not know GOD or the power of prayer. I simply couldn’t understand, because I was in pain and broken as well. Knowing and giving my life to God has comforted and restored me from a lifetime of should, should not’s. There’s has been great pain in my life. I thank GOD for every trial and tribulation, for it brought me to the greatest LOVE.
Great things have started happening in my family and greater things are to come.
Alisa, My heart hurt for the pain and for the truthful and personal share you just told us. I see GOD at work in just being able to tell this story. I will be praying for all of you especially Bonnie. I love you all.
Inspired by this story! Thank you so much for sharing. I feel like I’m in the same boat. My parents divorced when I was 7, didn’t see my dad for 10 years. It was a horrible life growing up. My step-father molested me, and we were always isolated and on the move. I went to 23 schools from 1st grade to 12th. My mother didn’t want me, she only wanted to hurt my dad, by keeping me from him. He has passed away, but my mother is 89 and still living. I love the Lord and I know he has carried me every step of the way. Like you, I so dis-trusted people and thought I could do everything on my own. I’ve been in Arizona now for 6 months fighting stage IV inflammatory breast cancer, which has gone to bone and sternum. Been fighting this fight for almost 6 years. My home is in Oklahoma and I miss my daughters and grandchildren so much, but I believe it’s time to move on. I’m not making much progress, but the Lord has told me through about 3 pastors and prayer warriors that the Lord is going to re-store everything that Satan has stolen from me and my family. Praise the Lord! I found out about a place where I can go for 3 weeks and they are curing cancer. I’ve been taken advantage of by so many so called medical professionals that I’m a bit leery, please keep me in prayer as I will also keep your family in prayer. It’s been a long journey and I felt I should share this with you in a nut shell. God Bless you and your family, Judy
Hello Alisa;
It has been too long since I connected again with you and Rev. Well…with the winter delays in my schedule, God meant for me to read this this morning as I checked e mail for schedule changes! Wow are you on target with the refining process that suffering brings! Don’t know if you recall, but in 2012 when I prepared to finish my Rev. Well training, my Mom was diagnosed with Multiple-Myeloma, a cancer which attacks bone marrow and affects the whole person with pain. Well God has enabled my Mom to survive these last almost 4 years; although her daily struggle is very hard to witness; He continually reminds me that I must trust Him for the reasons He has allowed this- which I cannot fathom! I love my Mom more than ever and will serve her as many ways as I can…until that wonderful day He sets her free from this burden! I truly empathize with your journey. Thank you for sharing, you and Bonnie have my prayers.
Alisa, you are so right!!! Jesus has just recently healed me of many years of pain in my heart, in my body and in my soul. Something I never thought possible, but with God all things are possible! I’ll never forget the day He told me, ‘stop adding to My Word or taking away from it, either from human reasoning, the world’s philosophies or satan’s lies.’ Take God at His Word! “He took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses.” And “by His stripes we are healed.” Healed inside and out, from head to toe, in every way. Thank you for your honesty, thank you most importantly for loving God and for sharing the purpose He has given you with others. May you and your entire household be blessed by our loving Father. Amen.